When parents separate, it is important for the mother and the father to maintain a relationship with children. Yet, in many cases, children on the side of a parent or the other. Sometimes it is the choice of the child, but too often, this happens because of the influence of the favored parent.
This phenomenon is nothing new, but only recently received a name. In the early 1980s, the psychiatrist Richard A. Gardner invented the term “parental alienation syndrome”. He defined it as a disorder in which a child does not happen and insults a parent without good reason, due in part to the influence of the other parent.
Parental alienation syndrome is not officially recognized by medical or legal areas as a mental health problem. But there is no denying that the remoteness of a parent takes place in many separations and divorces. This may occur for a number of reasons, including but not limited to:
* A parent completely wants the other parent of his life. Transforming children from the old partner is a way to achieve that.
* The guard parent wants money or property from the non-custodial parent and uses children as a bargaining tool.
* A parent is too possessive or jealous, and wants children to be all for him.
* A parent believes that the other parent is unworthy of children.
* A parent feels unable to compete with the other parent for childhood affections and retaliation trying to keep children to see it.
* The incriminated parent is hostile to the other parent and keeps kids from hurting him.
Whatever the reason, the incriminated parent effectively transforms the child or children against the other parent. It can retain or limit visits or reduce or eliminate contact between parents and children. He or she could make detricketing remarks on the other parent to or in the presence of children, or even make false allegations of abuse. Whether directly indicated or not, the incriminated parent could make the child feel that he has to choose one or the other.
When subjected to this behavior, children are often sides with the alienating parent. They do it to get the approval of this parent or because they believe that the terrible image painted on the other parent. Yet they often say that the decision to reject the other parent is their own because they do not want the incriminated parent feels or seemed guilty.
Parental alienation syndrome can be soft or severe, but in any case, it can have devastating effects on the child involved. He becomes trapped in the middle of a conflict between two of the most important people in his life. The relationship with both parents generally becomes tense and can lose contact with one of them. Unless the abuse of some kind is a factor, it is generally to encourage the best interest of the child to encourage good relations with the mother and the father.